According to dictionary.com, a definition of bittersweet is: both pleasant and painful or regretful.
At this current moment in time, aside from the regretful part, that's basically how I would describe my life. It is both pleasant and painful. FYI, in the literal sense, it is painful because I ran on pavement yesterday and the day before...when I'm used to "ellipticalling"...yeah, probably wasn't the best idea, but I wanted to be outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather!
I'll go to the emotional sense of the bittersweet definition. Life right now is most definitely exciting!--thus, it is most definitely pleasant! I mean, come on, I'm going to be in EUROPE for THREE-ish months! Part of me just wants to be over there right now! I'm looking forward to what life has in store for me while I'm there. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the world, traveling to different countries, and learning. So of course, this happy, excited emotion that I have is pleasant! :)
Painful...What could possibly be painful about all of this? Leaving who I know and leaving what I know. I know it's a relatively short amount of time, but the reality is that I am having a difficult time coming to grips with the fact that I have to say "bye," or rather, "see you later" to my family and friends, as well as the places that I enjoy, such as my city and my church.
This time right now--between when I'm here and when I arrive in Germany--is very odd. It's like someone is slowly pulling of a bandage. It's painful--slowly having to wean away and say that "see you later"--but I also know that once it's over, I'll feel that pleasant relief. (Not meaning to say that I'll stop missing people! I love my family & friends too much for that to happen!)
Until then, I just have to go with the bittersweet flow and let things fall into place...I just have to "let it be."
Peace. Love. Happiness.
--TR
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